Thursday, January 31, 2013

Highlight first, scooch later.

I scurried to the back of the bus.  The driver was one of those who starts moving before everyone is seated.  I quickly sat down next to a woman who was reading a book.
Now you have to know that there is etiquette to bus riding.  These are business people. Usually 90% are dressed in business attire.  Though in winter we all look like we’re from the 40’s in big heavy dark coats. But pushed into 2013 with Ipod earbuds and tunes coming out of those coats.
You move over a little if someone sits next to you. There is the dreaded ‘repeated elbow bumper’ which can drive a person insane at 7:00 am if the bumper doesn’t do the required aforementioned moving over.   Getting back to the woman I sat next to this morning: 
I sat down. She did not move over. She had a ‘wide load’ meaning briefcase and big book. She did not do the silent bus riding rule- ‘scrunch it all in so the person next to you doesn’t have to deal with it.’
I immediately saw that I had failed in my choice of quick seat taking. There was no such scooch over. Which meant that my right ass cheek had to firmly hold on for dear life for the next 25 minutes. And let’s face it, bus seats don’t have much to grip onto in the first place. My butt had to work overtime.
The kicker here is that the book she was reading was the Bible.  It not pocket sized. It was full, big book size.  Spread open wide.  This woman loves the Lord.  I know she loves the Lord and His Word, because not only was she engrossed and leaning into it….but the scriptures were underlined AND highlighted.  Both.   Her highlighter was in hand and ready to further enlighten.  Its binding was protected in a plastic cover-like a 1960’s couch.  No, there was no scooching over.  She was reading Matthew.   She became an elbow bumper when she turned each page. Still, no scooch.  No amount of scooching or adjusting that I did gave her a hint. 
She was hintless.
Now I am pretty sure the Lord loves both our butts.  Hers was nice and cozy, warm in her seat, allowing her to get her daily dose in.  My butt however, was half suspended in mid air.  When there was a few sharp turns, I can assure you I was praying to the Lord that my arse would not fail me and my right cheek was fortified enough to hold me in place.
 I attempted to remain cool and glamorous looking, of course.
I made it safely to work. This is a case of “burn the non-scoocher into memory” so I remember not to sit next to her again. My ass simply can’t take it.
xo jeanne.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Queen of the Thrift Store. I've seen her.

In the last week or so I’ve been to Goodwill and left with no fabulous deals to be found.
However, the people watching has been much more successful.
One day I’m there minding my own business when I spot  this gal. Try to picture it: 

A gal in her mid thirties. Brunette hair, swept up in an up-do.
 Topped off with a tiara.
Yes, a tiara. And dangly pearl bobble earrings.  She was wearing a short dress, no nylons and pumps.  Being as it was 20 degrees that day the no nylons struck me just as odd as the tiara.
Because I am me and I couldn’t help myself I say “Well don’t you look lovely today.” 
Upon which she smiles but says nothing.  I was expecting ; “Oh I was in a pageant this morning.”
But no such explanation. Clearly it was perfectly natural to be wearing a tiara at the thrift store.
 Her cart was absolutely full of the weirdest crap, like to the top. 
 But then of course that would only be natural. 
Bruce Springsteen’s  “Queen of the Super Market” rambled it’s way around my mind.  
‘I’m in love with the queen….’

Also, last week here in the Twin Cities, it was absolutely freezing. -25 wind chills.  Not fun.
I work in the Big City, so to avoid traffic I take the bus to and from work.  The bus is full of business people making their commute to work so it’s super safe and totally bland most days.
 I get a ton of reading done. 

Last week when it was -5,  I was  happy to be snug as a bug in my seat, not  waiting outside.
I look over  and the gal next to me is chowing down on corn nuts.  I immediately think:  “yum, salty.”
Then I think “Gross, lady. Eating on the bus totally gags me. Germs lady, germs.” 
But then I think:  “Corn nuts are my family’s road trip snack, I need a road trip.”  
A little while later I smell banana.
I look over and sure enough, she’s eating a banana.
 And I think: “Hmmm, banana and corn nut. Odd combination.”  I wonder what she did with the peal.
 As I wonder this, she takes a swig of her Diet Mountain Dew.   I further ponder her strange meal and choice of dining locale and wonder how busy has this woman been today that this is the most opportune time to eat? 

At this point I realize all she needs is a tiara.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Paper and Glue. Scrapbooking for Grown-Ups.

Finally. Scrapbooking weekend show and tell.
My goal was to teach myself decent layering skills. 
While I am scrapbooking I have absolved myself from speed. 
I have no intention of doing a marathon of how many pages I can get done.
I've done that. I'm over it.  
Now I just do my favorite pics.

I lie.  I do have a goal: I try to to a page for each of the kids.  Then a few other good photos I've taken over the year.  It's really just a chance for me to get to play with paper and glue. Two of my favorite things.

I started with a page about me. Giving myself credit for taking time out to make the blog.
Next, a favorite pic I've been wanting to scrap:

 A page for my dad. 
Thomas Guide. KTOM. The Man Who Ordered In Chinese.
The layering thing intrigues me. 
Unlimited possibilities of creativity.
A mish mash of paper fun. Bits. Scraps. Play.
I tried to focus on an area and do a layering motif.
All of the patterned paper is from October Afternoon. My favorite paper company.
Tip: I buy rolls of old tickets at garage sales with scrapbooking in mind.

I did other pages at my weekend away. I will put them all into a book.
(When I get around to it. ha!)

xo jeanne.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Tip: Mason Jar Lights Get Cloudy.

Since hanging the mason jar lights over a year ago...
The aqua glass had become cloudy.   

They'd taken on a milky cloud that was thick and powdery. 
Which dimmed the light they gave out.  Kind of like they'd been sitting in hard water. 
But really, they'd just been near a light bulb.  I was skeptical on how well they'd clean up.  
Cloudy is not cool.
I hate troubleshooting maintenance crap like this. 
(But at the same time I love it.)
I guess I hate when there's a problem, but I like finding the solution. 
I'm a complex girl. 
Thank goodness, the solution was easy. 
I soaked them in Dawn Dish Washing Liquid.
The built up film was actually pretty thick and took some scratching off with my fingernail.
But when I soaked it instead, it came right off.
So now, going forward I'll know every few months to wash the jars to clear them. 
Clear is better! 
(for picture taking purposes I took out the lightbulb.)
I hope this helps with your own mason jar lights.

xo jeanne 
       

Sunday, January 6, 2013

The Vintage Bedspread that IS!!

Okay. This time I wasn't going to be fooled.  
I couldn't help myself.  I checked out the linen rack at Goodwill.
After my non-vintage bedspread bust, perhaps a normal person 
would know not to even look for another and just give it a rest.
Ha. Like I'm normal.  I looked anyway.  
What were the odds of there being a cool vintage bedspread sitting on the rack?
Pretty good actually.

She's Pretty. She's soft. She's a Queen.
I think it will be fun to cozy up and read a book on this soft spread.
The reason I'd gone to Goodwill in the first place is that my mom came to visit.
I wanted something vintage-y and homey for her room.
I'd bribed my son to give up his room for the week.
I wanted to transform  Boy Sports Room into Homey Mom's Room.

Here's the reality:


Yes, I bribed my 15 year old to sleep on the couch. I paid him $20. 
I realize it's pathetic to pay your child to give up his room to his visiting grandmother. 
But,  you have to understand that twenty bucks is a small price to pay to totally avoid any and all complaining that a teenager can do. Worth every penny. AND it got him to clean his room top to bottom including drawers and closets. This is big. 
He found an amazing thing- the floor. 

I ended up throwing some vintage table cloths over a desk and nightstand to feminine up the room.  I had about 4 hours notice to get her room ready. It was a surprise visit!! 

On Saturday, mom returned home and my son returned to a Clean Room.
This all has nothing whatsoever to do with finding a chenille bedspread.  
The End.

Hug your mom!
xo jeanne.



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