The diagnosis: Projectitis: (pro-ject-eye-tis);
The condition in which
a fabulously creative individual
may get carried away with projects.
I've been diagnosed by professionals, Dr. Krylon and Nurse Kilz.
The condition was manageable at first. It developed from a garage sale find here, a thrift store deal there. It manifested itself in the shape of a crappy bowl I knew I could whip into shape ‘in no time at all.' I could change the smallest thing from blah to fabulous. It would just take a quick paint job. This continued for years, the symptoms quietly unnoticed.
The warning signs escalated when I began
to gasp out loud when approaching objects that had ‘potential’.
Soon, my legs would propel my body towards said objects and I had no recourse other than to lift my hands and hold the wonderfully chippy old objects with this
potential for greatness.
As the disease progressed, a gleam in my eyes developed.
This gleam appears stronger in the presence of “junk.”
Rust became my friend.
Rust soon became friends with Patina and Distressed.
The disorder took a serious turn when I began developing a strong affinity for “Repurposing.”
Colanders became light fixtures. Kitchen utensils became door pulls.
Coffee bean bags have become curtains.
Enamelware possibilities - endless. Books becoming shelves.
Nothing could stop me.
But then, Projectitis spread to my husband and children.
My husband, being an innocent bystander.
My “Honey, I have and idea!” turned into..
"Could 'we' spray the whole open beam ceiling white?!”
and “Can’t you just put together this wall, today ?”
He is a bit confused at the rate of speed in which my Projectitis can manifest and multiply.
(previous projects may not actually be done. evidence may be left behind.)
The poor children, they have built up no resistance.
My daughter is turning silver trays in to magnet boards and straw containers into makeup brush holders. She’s even taking a liking to........ milk glass. Sigh.
My son wants to paint the Periodic Table of Elements on the wall and
the industrial roof fan ($9.99 !)to be his room light. I have no recourse but to comply.
The 'yours' hook threw itself into my cart...
and will be fabulous towel hook in the big change bathroom.
The known side effects of Projectitis are wildly under appreciated.
An 'on the cheap' yet fabulously decorated home may result.
However, paint may remain on your fingernails indefinitely
and the most serious side effects may include
driving around aimlessly looking for garage sales.
Unfortunately, the only known remedies are:
“No cash in bank account.” and
“Put the damn check card away.”
As it turns out, I am immune to such gibberish.